my digital journal
a place in which i can express my thoughts, feelings, deepest
and darkest desires, awakenings...
april 29th, 2025
it's my birthday. doesn't really feel like it when you have no friends to
celebrate with.
april 15th, 2025
miss you.. :( i think about you every day.
april 11th, 2025
my soul is tired. i think it needs rest.
april 9th, 2025
i think i just get into my own head too much. i am comforted by my own sadness.
sometimes i just feel like there's this invisible wall between me and the people
around me. it's a weird fucking feeling. i don't know. like my own body is a
prison cell. it's restricting me. no matter what i always feel so alone.
i just can't shake this feeling off. it follows me wherever i go.
april 5th, 2025
i don't belong here. i don't belong in this world. no place, no person seems to be truly accepting of me.
i'm going crazy. i just wish someone would love me as i am. love me unconditionally.
i am disgusting and i deserve to rot 6 feet under.
the more i learn about this world the less i want to live in it.
march 26th, 2025
nothing ever helps.
im starting to think this emptiness just comes with the shitty thing we're given called life.
i think i will never be happy while i'm on this earth. true peace only comes with dying.
march 21st, 2025
i know i will leave this place soon.
very soon. a couple of months and i'll be gone. i feel like my soul is rotten. like i have lived longer
than i am supposed to. i hope death welcomes me with open arms. i guess nothing matters now,
since i'll be dead anyway.if, by some way, heaven and hell are real, i am destined to burn.
i wonder if anyone actually reads this.. probably not. who
would want to torture themselves?
march 16th, 2025
every single place in the world is flawed. theres no place for me to go
to where i am truly accepted and where i truly belong.
i hate living. i can't fucking wait to die.
march 10th, 2025
god how i hate my body. i hope i can make it through today while starving.
i hope my parents don't notice. my excuses to not eat are bullshit.
march 5th, 2025
"nothing can stop me now, 'cause i don't care anymore"
living while knowing you can kill yourself if it gets too hard is very comforting. death is comforting.
i wish life was as comforting as death. but it's not. i have a privilleged life too. maybe i just
need to be more grateful instead of whining on this fuckass site lmao. my medication isn't working.
everyone believes im getting better... i'm not. i still have this hole in my chest and i always will.
there's nothing i can do about it.
march 1st, 2025
i either kill myself or learn to live with this emptiness in my chest. i know i don't have a future.
i hate everything about myself. living doesn't seem so hard for others. then why is it for me? when
i try to picture my future i see pitch black. living is inherently suffering. suicide is the escape.
why is suicide so demonized? i don't think my absence will affect anyone anyway. i just wish i knew
how to be normal. god i hate thissssssssssss
february 27th, 2025
i have this feeling deep down that nobody really likes me. from what i can remember,
i have always felt so. different. i've always been more sensitive than other kids.
why am i the only one who cares? about anything really. in my countries culture
there's this deeply rooted "not giving a single shit about anything". i have never felt
like i belong here. but everywhere i look it's all the same. the world just sucks.
i was born with an ache in my chest that nobody else seems to have.
"and when i find that a knife sticking out of my side, i'll pull it out without questioning why"
© 2025 - eternity